Pain Teaches Us We Can Go Another Direction....

     Imagine the joy of having a future of possibilities in front of you, a graduation, a long awaited achievement, a birth of a child, a new career opportunity.A long awaited and saved for vacation, Closing a big business deal that will change everything in your life, a wedding, etc. The list could really go on and on. Now imagine all hopes, dreams, as you had imagined, being swooped away in a flash. News that you were 1/2 of 1/2 percent short of receiving a grade you worked hard for. That baby you so anxiously awaited and wanted,  slips away and you have nothing but empty arms to bring home from the hospital. That new job you thought you were getting, well, you were passed over for the next guy because he was the bosses, cousin's, brother. That vacation you planned and saved so hard for, well that money will be paying for medical bills of a new chronic illness you have developed, And what about that big deal, the one if you close it, you will have a handle on all the problems in your life, but instead, you are cheated by your own client (who was a friend and trusted) and you are told it's not about church, this is business.What about the marriage of your dreams, the one where fairy-tales come true...and it ends up 6 months into it...and you aren't even sure who you married.

    These are just scenarios. But the truth is we all endure times when doors are slamming in our faces. that can be painful. What to do with a big fat NO! No you can't graduate, No! you can't have that new job you worked hard for, NO! you can't have your baby, No! you can't close that life changing deal, No! your vacation will be paying medical bills, No! there will not be a fairy-tale ending to your story!!!!! Got it?????? Your answer to your dreams is NO!!!!!

    Okay, now this is sounding like a really depressing post, well, let me ask you this. Is pain depressing? Oh, yes it can be, and will be, at times. But there are times, maybe few and far between, but real, true times when, pain has something else to say. It is not just saying NO!!!! It  is saying look the other way. Go a different direction. You have a different path. It looks like your in a cave of darkness, but in reality...it's a path into the light. The only gate holding you back sometimes...is not taking your focus off the great big NO!!!!! And looking at your life in the face and saying well, if  I received a NO!!!! about my dreams , then there has to be a YES!!! in another direction. 

    I remember standing in my shower sobbing, I was so weak from crying, I had to lean my head on the wall of the shower. I cried out to God with deepest sorrow, for I had just lost a second baby in a row, over a period of a year. I couldn't understand why he was telling me a big fat NO!!!! I was completely and utterly beside myself. I finally humbled myself , which felt devastating, and cried out, "Okay! I get it! You're telling me NO!!!! Now what in this world am I suppose to do with this pain???? Just because you said NO!!!! Doesn't mean I'm not hurting. And I don't like your answer!"( I do kind of talk back to God sometimes. But he is very patient with me.) I told him "I'm beside myself in sorrow!" So what did pain teach me......in that very dark , painful moment....I heard a voice speak to me.......It was my Higher Power, "This happened to you, so you can weep with those that weep, and comfort those who need comfort.You will start a support group webpage for women with Pregnancy and infant loss. You will get out of your pain and comfort someone else's."

     So that is what Pain taught me, to not go inward with my disappointment, and become bitter, angry, and selfish. But instead go outward and touch, and reach, and bless, another hurting soul. Somehow there is healing in it. I can't put it into words, but it's real and it works. Sometimes when life slams a big fat No!!!! in your face, it's just saying take another direction. Here is my website that has helped many women of loss. If you know anybody this can comfort please feel free to share it.  Beside Myself :A safe lace to Grieve
I have many other Yes'es!!! That resulted from NO's!!!!

    Pain teaches us, we can go another direction.....and it can turn out beautiful! It can turn out to be the biggest YES!!!! of your life.

Pain Teaches Us to Hope....

     One of the strongest virtues I can re-call developing out of painful situations in my life is the trait of having hope. For some reason in the darkest corridors of pain, there is a small echo back whispering..."Have Hope!". I can not claim that this hope is a constant companion mind you. It has come and gone throughout my earthy duration, so far. I have just noticed that in painful moments when hope visits me....the pain  itself, is easier to tolerate. As a child we may even be born with an essence of hope. It seems to come natural as in "I hope I get a bike for my  birthday.", "I hope I can win at a competition.', or " I hope I will do well on a test." As important as those things are at those ages, what pain does, is it gives depth to our hopes, depth to our character. How different it is to hope forthose things then compared to pain produced hope. A hope that the sun will rise after a night of deep soul searching darkness, or to hope someone close to you, whom is knocking on death's door, is still breathing right now and will be, in an hour from now, and to hope a wound caused by the deepest betrayal of a trust shattered , can be healed. These hopes are so different in nature due to the pain that birthed the hope. Hopes so different, than the simpler hopes we had of yester-year.

     Why is hope so important anyway? The definition says "Hope is an emotional state which promotes belief in a good outcome related to events and circumstances." Well that sounds very optimistic.  

If thy hope be any thing worth, it will purify thee from thy sins. -Joseph Alleine, 

Hope is a waking dream.Aristotl,

 Know then, whatever cheerful and serene
Supports the mind, supports the body too:
Hence, the most vital movement mortals feel
Is hope, the balm and lifeblood of the soul.- John Armstrong

 Hope knows no fear. Hope dares to blossom even inside the abysmal abyss. Hope secretly feeds and strengthens promise. Sri Chinmoy

• "Hope" is the thing with feathers —
  That perches in the soul —
  And sings the tune without the words —
  And never stops — at all —
  And sweetest — in the Gale — is heard —
  And sore must be the storm —
  That could abash the little Bird
  That kept so many warm —
  • Emily Dickinson, Poem 254 in The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (1960), edited by Thomas H. Johnson
  •  
   Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent. Mignon McLaughlin,
  
   Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears. Walter Scott
  
  Pain can teach us to hold on a little longer, to look forward to tomorrow , to trust in a new found friend, a virtue that can transfigure your life and your soul...that virtue of Hope. When I am exasperated by pain in any of it's forms...I have been taught through pain to turn to Hope, for she patiently waits for me.
  

Pain clears the way for inspiration....

      Pain clears the way for inspiration. Getting some disheartening news can throw you back on the couch with a heart racing and tears swelling. But after the news sinks in , and you settle into the reality of the situation, you can see the lesson. It is there. Something happened, the reason may not be so clear, but what to do with this may be the real inspiration.

      We get to decide if we will fight against the tide of disappointment, or we will accept that this, may be a path we have to travel for a purpose. Going through a dark, long, tunnel can start to feel overwhelming. Light starts to appear in the far distance, of the misty abyss. It may appear even very small, yet growing brighter, and brighter, as you approach the end of the tunnel of darkness. There you receive a gift. The gift is a lesson. You learn that no matter how scared or overwhelmed you felt just moments, months or years ago....you can experience something else in the near future. The past does not have to be your future. Now sometimes the past will re-visit us in the form of a new lesson. Maybe a lesson we didn't learn well enough, on our last trip down the long, dark tunnel. This may enrage you, or discourage you, or even cause resentment, at the idea that we must once again, suffer for what appears to be no purpose at all. But oh, how our lives are laced with intricate details all interwoven to bring us to our highest good. Hard to believe, that pain is a teacher. I understand. Pain hurts.....it does. Without it you would never understand joy, happiness, peace, serenity,sweetness, kindness, compassion, goodness, charity......LIGHT. "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." John 8:12

     There must be opposition in all things. Not some things, not sometimes, not only for other people. Opposition is part of the deal. It is part of Earth School. It is part of inheriting light without end. unimaginable joy, treasures untold. It's how and what we do with that opposition, that pain, that builds character. I'm not saying, you won't fall apart sometimes, you won't have the wind knocked out of you, you won't cry out "My God, why has thou forsaken me?" because most likely you will do those things. But it's what you do after that, it's what you do when you are capable of pulling the pieces of yourself back together into something that resembles a human life form. It is what you do with the pain, and how you let it inspire you, when your healed. Even if it it's a bad patch work job of healing. You will know pain is the teacher when all  is said and done with your pain, and you feel inspired to do something positive with yourself.