My Story

I enjoy blogging and writing to inspire others. I am a church attending, patriotic, mother of 5 children, most of them grown and moved out.

 I have been married to a very lucky man for 24 years. I have had my share of pain in my life. I had a turbulent childhood, I am an ACOA, for those who don't know that acronym  you can read more about it on this link. I had a difficult home life, bullied through most my school years. We moved around for my Dad's job and I attended 11 schools. I dropped out of High School at 17 from struggles at school and in my family life. It brought about great shame and discomfort to me. I felt like a failure.

 I married young at the age of 19 to a man 11 years my senior, and had an incredibly roller coaster style marriage. Three years into it, I was on my second child , had suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, found out my husband had a chronic, possibly life threatening illness, and we declared bankruptcy from my husbands failed business attempt. We were off to a rocky start to say the least. I was still disturbed that I hadn't graduated High School so I went and took my GED. I scored so high the lady at the desk said  I really should go to adult high school and get a real diploma. I took her advice and walked with my adult high school class with pride having earned my diploma with honor role grades. My parents left the faith they raised me in sending me into a tail spin of confusion that took many years to work through. I studied religions and philosophies of the world. I could not quench my thirst to know more on my spiritual journey. It was agonizing for me to find my own spiritual roots.My parents abandoned me for 6 years where I could not locate them. Quickly followed 2 more children, the last born with a pneumothorax who had to stay in the hospital while my husband left on business. I was alone and overwhelmed with 3 other children at home. As the stress continued  from financial stress with my husbands health condition, and my deteriorating  marriage, I entered counseling and ACOA Support Groups that saved my life and gave me new life skills. The most important thing I learned there, was to get honest about my life, and my experiences. Not to brush under the carpet the truth of real life pain. Not to put on a happy face when all I need to do is collapse. I learned to be real there. I learned not to be ashamed to be flawed. But to just be honest about it. I think one quality that makes most people so uncomfortable with me, is I can be so honest about myself, even if it isn't something pleasant. Getting things out in the open to be looked at and examined, that is what I'm about. And that can scare people. I went to a retreat called Retrouvaille to save my marriage, hosted by another faith than my own, (because as I said before, I have an open mind, and they kept it non-denominational) . I learned invaluable things there. I empowered myself as my councilor instructed me, and went to find a job.I became a make up artist for high profile make up line in the departments store.  One of the scariest things ever for me to do. It was tremendously empowering .Because of continued financial stress and not being able to heal my troubled life, I separated from my husband. Along with that came tremendous baggage an  additional pain. We reunited and decided to make a fresh start in a new state. I changed professions and became a Real Estate Agent.I had one more child that brought me tremendous joy at that phase of my life. I started writing a book called "It's Time to leave the Playground" An interactive guide to maturing at any age through self-discovery. How to mature into an adult when you were raised by an adult child. I have never finished the book. I have trouble completing what I start (It's a strong ACOA trait ) It was getting too painful to write, but I may return and finish it someday.

 My oldest son encouraged me to enter a beauty pageant to try to earn scholarship money for college. I was in the top 8 and invited to represent Mrs. Tampa in the Mrs. Florida Pageant for the Mrs. America Pageant in 2008.  That was followed by two more miscarriages that took their toll on me sending me into deep despair and depression.That motivated me to set up a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support website, to help others through this difficult time.Here is the link.

As the economy began to collapse and the Real Estate market crashed I lost a lot financially. I was in dire trouble, lost my entire life style, no longer had a credit card, bank account or even a car. I could not even pay for my cell phone.

I decided I would trust my Higher Power's plan for my life and go with it. I took this hiatus from working to spend more time with my children. I was struggling with my rebellious son, and trying to get my other two High School students through the tough years. I taught a Gospel Doctrine class in my church for nearly 2 years, where my faith was strengthened and my knowledge increased in spiritual matters. I had begun a journey of serious reflection and study of Holy Writ. I had to walk through a devastating year with my son, where humiliation marked the family, and dreams and hopes had been dashed. I had to help  guide him to build from ashes a new start. Shortly there after, that son decided to serve a religious mission for our faith. I started to be educated on the things happening in our public school system. The devestating new program for children the federal government was trying to implement called Common Core. As I studied the topic I felt I had to do something, so I started a Facebook page called PARENTS AGAINST COMMON CORE. I began Home Schooling my 2 younger children, and started working on a writing a book to inspire women of faith. It is a work in progress. And I plan to spend a lot of time on it this summer.It will be about God's daughters and their Divine Inheritance. My daughter recently married a wonderful young man and moved to California. And today I begin a fresh new summer, and this new blog, about my life lessons from pain. I hope you enjoy what you find here. Remember I keep it REAL!